Active Theology

Taylor Swift and the Weary Mom

“I cry a lot, but I am so productive. It’s an art.” 

If you haven’t heard this Taylor Swift lyric, you must not have listened to her recent hit, “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”. I am not a “Swiftie” by any means, but I have enjoyed this recent, catchy hit of hers and have resonated with some of the lyrics.

My favorite lyric from the song (I listen to the clean version) says, “Cause I’m a real tough kid, I can handle it. They said, ‘Babe you’ve gotta fake it ‘til you make it’ and I did.”

That lyric seemed to be my mantra last week when I “handled” completing a massive amount of laundry that I had gotten incredibly behind on. (It turns out that if you don’t put away much laundry for your family of five for a month or so, it gets overwhelming. Who knew?!)

I think a lot of moms connect with the lyrics of this song (written about Taylor continuing to perform on stage while heartbroken). Moms today can operate as if they are “heartbroken”- going through the motions of raising their children because there is no other option. There is no time to take a break. Meals need to be made, laundry needs to be folded, toys need to be picked up, work needs to be completed…

I think operating under weariness and exhaustion (mental or physical) can feel similar to operating under the effects of a recent heartbreak.

Hope for the Weary Mom

Now, while I have found this Taylor Swift song to be a fun (yet angsty) source of encouragement for me while I clean, this song does not offer any true, lasting encouragement. It may feel good for a while to call myself “tough” and lean into the “girl boss” mentality of today, but at the end of the day, I am only “tough” and able to do my work amid seasons of weariness by leaning on the Lord.

Leaning on the Lord, for me, looks like:

• Reading God’s Word. (even if it is only mere minutes of reading my Bible)
• Praying desperate prayers. (I don’t know how many times I pray “Lord, help me.” throughout the day, but it’s a lot.)
• Recognizing God’s provision. (Following those “Lord, help me.” prayers with a “Thank you, God.”)
• Seeking out God’s goodness. (Looking for the goodness of the Lord in big and small things- such as a sweet smile from one of my daughters or a hug from my son.)

Do I do these things perfectly each day? Absolutely not. Sometimes it is hard just getting out of bed. But keeping my eyes on Jesus is what gets me through the tough days. Being reminded of God’s steadfast love for me is what equips me to love and care for my children on even the hardest of days.

Encouragement for the Weary Mom

I used to not understand Christian women’s conferences. The speaker would just tell all of the women that they were all amazing children of God (which is true), but it seemed like there was nothing convicting or of deep theological significance presented at all. Now as a mom, I watch an episode of Bluey (which is an incredible children’s show if you have not seen it) and hear one dog mom say to another dog mom,

 “You’re doing great.”

and I find myself with tears in my eyes.  

Now, do I think that some speakers/authors are way too heavy on spiritual “fluff” geared toward women/moms? Absolutely. But I also believe there is something to be said about extra encouragement to parents in the throes of caring for young kids. 

In his most recent book, Practicing the Way, John Mark Comer says, “…I know others who are in a season of just trying to survive parenting little kids and barely getting ten minutes a day to pray. But tired as they may be, they are becoming more loving with each passing year.”

Caring for kids can be difficult and wearisome, yet these years are not in vain. If we hold fast to Jesus, we can still grow to be more like him in these tiresome years.

Wisdom from C.S. Lewis

My husband, Craig, wrote me a note several months ago when I was feeling particularly discouraged about my work as a mom. I was feeling inadequate and that I wasn’t doing a good job. Craig is incredibly thoughtful and loves theology, so of course he used a C.S. Lewis illustration to attempt to encourage me.

In part of this note to me, he wrote:

“In C.S. Lewis’ book The Great Divorce, the main character is in Heaven and sees a woman being celebrated. The character is confused and asks what’s going on. An explanation is given. She isn’t famous on earth, didn’t influence millions, or live a luxurious, wealthy life. He says, 

“it’s someone you’ve never heard of”. 

He’s driving home the point that the angels danced and threw flower petals at the woman because she was faithful to God, faithful to her husband, an “ordinary” saint, a citizen of Heaven, loved people, loved her children, lived a life for Jesus that flowed into others, had a transformative love that shaped others, and showed ordinary acts of love that had divine and eternal significance. This is you. I see it every day. And I just want you to know that. I love you and I’m so thankful for you and all you do for the Kingdom.”

Even though Craig wrote this for me, C.S. Lewis was not thinking of me when he wrote this illustration. It’s a beautiful picture of how special we are to God- even in a season where we may feel like the things we are doing are insignificant or go unnoticed. God sees us.

So to all my fellow weary moms out there- If you are striving to live a life following Jesus, you are a true “ordinary saint”. The world may not recognize you as having immense value, but God does. You may not have many followers on social media. You may not be living in a ginormous house and taking your kids on lavish vacations. But in light of eternity, you and the work you are doing in raising your children is of immeasurable value. 

It is true Kingdom work. Your work is not in vain.

Wisdom Straight from the Source: Psalm 23

Psalm 23 is a popular passage of Scripture and it gives us a beautiful reminder of the importance of having an eternal significance. So let me leave you with some true encouragement straight from God’s Word.

Psalm 23:

“The Lord is my shepherd;,
  I have all that I need. 
He lets me rest in green meadows;
  he leads me beside peaceful streams.
  He renews my strength. 
He guides me along right paths,
  bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk
  through the darkest valley, 
I will not be afraid,
  for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
  protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me
  in the presence of my enemies. 
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
  My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
  all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
  forever.

Haley is a stay-at-home mom of 3 kids. She loves illustrating, designing, coffee dates with her husband, and teaching her children about Jesus. A few of her favorite things are Coke Zero, Peanut Butter M&M’s, and TJ Maxx.